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The King of the Means (JimmyandFriends Style) (Transcript)
Cast *King Alvin - E.B. (Hop) *Prince Wood - Sheen Estevez (Jimmy Neutron) *King Alvin's Servant 1 - Patrick Star (SpongeBob SquarePants) *Hamblin - Woody (Toy Story) *King Alvin's Servant 2 - SpongeBob SquarePants *Soldier - Carl Wheezer (Jimmy Neutron) *Garrius - Prince John (Robin Hood) *Palace Guard - Kermit the Frog (Muppets) Chapter 1: Opening Credits *(JimmyandFriends Entertainment presents show up) *("The King of the Means" title shows up) *Female Narrator 1: Once upon a time, in a make believe land where two kingdoms, the kingdom of Liberty Lame and the kingdom of Pompous People, were right next to each other, there lived two friends - Patrick Star, one of King E.B.'s servants, and Kermit the Frog, the palace guardian Prince Sheen is friends with. *Male Narrator: As friends often do, they played together. But somewhere along the line, their playing turned to pranking. And their pranking escalated and got out of hand, until once good friends became bitter foes. *Patrick: Aaahh! Kermit! You overgrown guard! I'll get you for this! *Kermit: Aaahh! Patrick! You pesky little servant! I'll get you! *Female Narrator 2: And so it was that the best friends never spoke again. The kingdoms were divided. And a great feud endured. If kings were famous, what would they plan to do? *E.B.: I am a king. A king named E.B. I had a dream. Can someone tell me what it means? *SpongeBob: We're your servants. *Patrick: We can't explain your dream to you. *E.B.: What!?! *SpongeBob: But we like helping you. To you, we're like brothers. *Patrick: Yeah! We work for you, and I own a chocolate bunny factory! *E.B.: Silence! *(E.B. kicks SpongeBob and Patrick into a volcano) *E.B.: Sceptor my gas. I starred in every high school play, took every acting workshop I could. I hit the boards and paid my dues. I knew the world will love me without a doubt. But it's not the way it worked out. Because I'm a king of a little kingdom. I'm laughing at my own jokes, but I'm crying inside. The critics used to say I'm "Brilliant". Don't bother trying to IMDb me. The only patience you'll probably see me is ruling two fighting kingdoms. It's not exactly what I planned, but I'm a king of a little kingdom. But what's the difference? That's all behind me now. I'm paying the rent and I'm swallowing my pride. Chapter 2: The Prank Feud *Female Narrator 1: Just like that, the King got rid of his servants. *(Fade to E.B. bathing) *Female Narrator 1: Why would he do this? *(Voices screaming and shouting) *Male Narrator: Yes. It was a little odd. The pranking has gone on for years in a very silly battle. *(Screaming and shouting continuing) *Prince John: Give them a taste of banana cream! *(The armies throw pies and water balloons) *Ichabeezer: He got me! And... it was delicious! *Prince John: Let's go! French Silk! *Buck Cluck: We can't take more of this. The calories alone! *Mr. Turner: My diet! *Cindy Vortex: I used to be a size six! *Mr. Turner: When and how were you ever a size six?! *(Later that night...) *Female Narrator 2: For through the chaos, a moment appeared, and Prince John would seize it. *Prince John: Sour cream raisin! Quickly! *E.B.: What? *(Shouting) *Female Narrator 2: A moment that would make Prince John a legend. *Prince John: This pie's a bomb! You'll explode into a million pieces! Because you ate it! *(BOOM!) *E.B.: Yeah? Well then, give a taste of this! (E.B. throws a water balloon at Prince John. He realizes Sheen is behind him.) Oh dear. *Female Narrator 2: Prince John knew in his heart, he made a steak. It was E.B.'s own son, Sheen Estevez. His eyes had the stink of destiny abound. *Miss Minchin: Give them all bad haircuts! *Soldiers: Nooooo! *(A soldier falls into the river) *E.B.: (choking) They cannot cross the gorge. They are too puny. We shall return with an even greater prank. Ha! *(Fade to Sheen walking into a pool of soap water in a cave, hence the sign that read "SOAP + WATER") *Female Narrator 2: And in that darkness, he surrendered himself completely; to power so evil and perverse. Chapter 3: Rise of Sheen *Female Narrator 2: That as he emerged, no part of a lord kid that was Sheen survived. His eyes blazed like scarlet coals. He was stripped, cleansed, glamorous, and smooth. *(Fade to Sheen walking up to a crowd of people) *Sheen: Now everyone, I want you to bow down and wonder in front of me. Repeat after me: "I love you more than anything else..." *(White words "The next night..." on black background) *Pinocchio: Just keep your eyes on the screen, mom. *Riley: Pinocchio? *Pinocchio: What?! *(Woody is behind them) *Woody: BOOOOOOO! *(Riley and Pinocchio are in the hospital jump scared to death) *Doctor: You killed them. *Woody: Ha! *Doctor: This is illegal, you know. *(Woody walks into a cell) *Cop: If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. (closes cell door) *(Blue words "One hour later..." on white background) *Cop: Okay, time's up. (opens cell door) *Sheen: Woody, you should make me some pudding. *Woody: Okay, okay. Sheesh! We need to find you a new queen. *Female Narrator 1: The very next morning, Woody called everyone in the two kingdoms together. Chapter 4: A New Queen *Kermit: Elsa? *Elsa: Yes? *Kermit: Didn't know that the doctor told Woody that it was illegal to jump scare someone? *(HONK!) *(Car screech) *Sheen: Oh servants! *Emily Elizabeth: You called, Your Highness? *Sheen: Why yes! Call everyone together. *Sandy Cheeks: When you said "everyone", does that mean the people in both your kingdom and in King E.B.'s kingdom, Your Majesty? *Sheen: Yes. Liberty Lame, the kingdom of King E.B. uses a bunch of rope to cross the gorge to my kingdom. *Woody: I have an announcement to make. *Emily and Sandy: Yes, your highness! *Woody: People! The royal highness, King Sheen Estevez, finds himself in need of a new queen! *Sheen: Consider the fate of your women. If I'm the king, from this day forth, everyone must bow down to me only. Come on do it. Show us how much you love me! *(Everyone bows down) *Woody: Your Highness, those guys don't look like they're bowing. I think they're stuck. *Sheen: I glued their feet to the ground before everyone even got here! Ha-ha-ha! Ahem. Look Woody, we need to go have a talk with them. How come you're not bowing down like we told you to? *Woody: Don't you really love us? *Carl: We make and produce chocolate bunnies each day, sir. *Sheen: You do what? *Carl: I know we work at Patrick's Chocolate Factory, one of King E.B.'s kingdom's finest landmarks. *Sheen: That does seem nice. But I just have one little question. (grows angry) When in the world did you manage to get soldiers from King E.B.'s own kingdom to attend them WORSHIPPING ME!?!?!? And how did they happen to get across the gorge? *Carl: Airmail! *Kermit: They have employed the silly goose. *(Goose honks) *Sheen: Curses. I'm gonna give you one last chance, the five of you. Are you going to turn around and shape up? *Shrek: No. *Sheen: I'm gonna give you one MORE last chance! Say you love me more than anything else or you'll remain glued to the sandy grounds for the rest of your days! *Woody: Come on! Bow down to us! *Kermit: No! *Anna: We refuse to do it! It's because we like you, Prince Sheen. *Shrek: But we don't like you. Not more than anything else. *Lightning McQueen: And it's wrong to praise someone who never actually exists. *Sheen: That is it! (He gives Kermit, Anna, Shrek, Lightning McQueen and Carl pink slips) All five of you are fired from Patrick's factory, effective immediately! I'll go unaccompanied. *Carl: But we don't work for you! *Sheen: I don't care if you work for me or not. But you always know who you love the most. Chapter 5: Sheen vs. Miss Minchin *Sandy Cheeks and Emily Elizabeth: And you're going cold turkey. *Woody: (Gasp) Some disobedient worshippers. People of Liberty Lame and Pompous People; ready the pranks! All of them! *(Everyone stops bowing down) *(Elsa smashes open a wall that says "Smash wall in case of fighting armies.") *Sheen: It's Miss Minchin! *Miss Minchin: It seems as though someone's been crowned king, and they're not doing it right. *Woody: He didn't do it. It was King E.B.! He got hit with a sour cream raisin pie just two nights ago, and that led Sheen to be king. And King E.B.'s guards showed up to attend them worshipping Prince Sheen in his kingly fashion and structure. *Sheen: That's just cruel! Seeing guards from E.B.'s kingdom Liberty Lame showing up willing to pray to me! What's the idea, Headmistress Minchin? *Miss Minchin: I'll tell you what's the idea. The idea is being a king is a much greater responsibility than what you've bargained for. You're only a young prince! *Carl: You did this to us? *Miss Minchin: Tear both Woody and Sheen apart. *(Ad lib angry dialogue from the cartoon character worshippers) *Sheen: I should be there in the West End, knocking them dead. But instead, I'm here telling lame jokes again and again and again and again! I should've listened when my grandmother said: "Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died, I guess I'll work forever as a king of a little kingdom. Someone please shoot me because I'm bored to tears. Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied because I'm a king of a little kingdom. *Miss Minchin: Throw the rhubarb pies! Give them all the cream that you've got! *(Minchin throws a pie at Sheen, and Prince John throws a water balloon at Woody) *Crowd: Prince Sheen got what he deserved, that's what I say. *Kermit: Everybody stop fighting! It's not my fault to let them do this. *Elsa: Yeah, we should stop this. *Miss Minchin: She's right. *Prince John: I'd say it's about time for a fresh start. What has our silly pranking got into us anyway? *Miss Minchin: By imperial decree, I declare no more pranks from now on. *Prince John: And I do the same! Everybody, no more pranking! Let our two kingdoms, once again, be at peace! *Female Narrator 1: And with that, everybody in the two kingdoms stopped fighting. They decided to live in harmony. *Male Narrator: And Prince Sheen and Woody were both creamed and splashed to death. Which caused their kingdoms to live happily never after. *Female Narrator 2: The end. Chapter 6: Credits *Directed by JimmyandFriends *Produced by John A. Davis *Written by Cory Edwards *Score by Kurt Heinecke *(JimmyandFriends Entertainment logo shows up) *(Fade to black) Category:Transcripts Category:Jimmyandfriend's Transcripts Category:VeggieFan2000